Recently I paid a visit to M&S to return some clothes for my mum whilst she was in hospital recovering from a hip replacement. I decided to buy her a pair of slippers as I had this strong sense of wanting to care for her comfort. Whilst standing in the que I was observing what was happening around me (I'm always curious about how we interact as humans and search for ways in these big shopping environments to keep me soft and my heart open). I was in for a treat.
I'm watching the woman who had arrived at the counter ahead of me. The woman serving asks her if she knows the gloves are blue and not black. The woman said she did not realise and she said it was OK she'd just take them. The woman serving offered to change them to black and it would take her a couple of minutes. The woman was a little reluctant and the server insisted saying she would be restricted with the blue. It was my sense that the lady being served didn't wan't to make a fuss (I'm making an assumption as I see this response so often in ladies of her generation in Scotland. I can make all sorts of assumptions here and my understanding is that it's rooted in a sense of not mattering enough or perhaps for ease, who knows unless we check it out). I noticed that I felt warmed by the assistants jesture and smiled at her as she passed me. She told me specifically (ie didn't direct it to anyone else in the que) that she would only be a couple of minutes. As I reflected on the situation I started to wonder if perhaps the server might have misread my smile. Knowing how easy it is for us to hear judgement and criticism I wanted to reconnect with her to let her know how I appreciated her kindness. I noticed it was becoming important to me and realise that connection to other humans is. There was also something in there about wanting to be understood. When I connected to the needs in me I was then able to relax and not be so attached to reconnecting with her. I paid for my purchase and walked back through the store. I saw the assistant come towards me and seized the moment. I said "excuse me, I wanted you to know that the reason I was smiling at you earlier is because I felt touched by your kindness towards the woman. It moved me". She beamed into a smile and said thank you very much. I felt so satisfied walking away from that situation and celebrated having the opportunity to have reconnected with her. I notice that the more I catch moments like these the more nurtured I feel which makes it much more likely that I'll continue with this appreciation practice.